


Spring Cleaning

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-27
Updated: 2005-08-27
Packaged: 2019-05-30 09:17:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15093743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh gets Donna to help him clean his apartment. This story contains dialogue ONLY, so read carefully!





	Spring Cleaning

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Spring Cleaning**

**by:** Kas

**Character(s):** Josh Lyman, Donna Moss  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** General  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Summary:** Josh gets Donna to help him clean his apartment. This story contains dialogue ONLY, so read carefully!  
**Written:** 2005-08-18  


“Donna!”  
“Josh, this had better be good!”  
“I just…”  
“It’s a Sunday, Josh! The one day off I get a week, and then suddenly, in the middle of a very nice nap, I get a phone call from who- who I ask…”  
“You’re talking to yourself, there, Donna…”  
“None other than my boss, Joshua Lyman! The man who can’t do anything by himself!”  
“Hey!”  
“So, now I’m here, at your apartment, on a Sunday morning- what do you want!”  
“Well, I was wondering if you’d help me do some spring cleaning.”  
“…You’d better be joking.”  
“I’m being very serious.”  
“Have your got a letter opener?”  
“Why?”  
“I’m going to kill you with it. A spoon would also do if you don’t have a letter opener.”  
“I’m considering giving you a raise.”  
“…Where do we start?”

**********  
“Hey, Donna! Look what I found!”  
“What?”  
“It’s one of my old papers from Harvard!”  
“This place is like a tomb of stuff no one cares about.”  
“I’d like you to note the score at the top of the paper.”  
“I noticed it.”  
“And?”  
“I wasn’t going to mention it.”  
“Why not?”  
“I don’t think there’s enough room in this apartment for both of us, let alone making room for the entrance of your enormous ego.”  
“Now, Donna, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were being stroppy.”  
“I was woken up on a Sunday, my only day off, in the middle of a very nice dream, on a Sunday after going to bed at 2 a.m. by my boss, only to have him ask me to come over and help him do some spring cleaning on a Sunday in the hell hole that is his apartment. No, Josh, I’m not stroppy, what gave you that idea?”  
“Sarcasm doesn’t become you, Donnatella.”  
“Screw you, I’m brilliant.”  
“Yes, and you have an almost degree in four subjects from the university of Wisconsin to prove it.”  
“You’re on dangerous ground there, Josh.”  
“Really?”  
“Oh yeah.”  
“I’m really not…What are you doing?”  
“I’m looking for that letter-opener.”  
“Ok, lets just keep cleaning.”

**********  
“Josh, what is this?”  
“What? Oh, that? It’s one of my old sweatshirts. I wore it a lot during…”  
“Yeah.”  
“Well, if you do the windows in this room and I…What are you doing?”  
“I-Nothing!”  
“Donna, were you putting that shirt in your bag?”  
“No! I was just looking in my bag!”  
“For what?”  
“Ummm…Kleenex.”  
“You don’t carry Kleenex.”  
“Do so!”  
“Ok, where is this alleged Kleenex? Show it to me.”  
“I…I seem to have run out.”  
“I see. Donna, if you want my shirt, all you have to say is, ‘Josh, can I take your shirt?’”  
“Fine. Josh, can I take your shirt?”  
“No.”  
“Joshua!”  
“It’s a perfectly good shirt!”  
“Fine! It’s stinky anyway!”  
“Hey! Where are you going?”  
“To get away to you! Also, to get lunch.”  
“Fine.”  
“Fine.”  
“Donna?”  
“What?”  
“You can have my shirt.”

**********  
“I can’t believe you wrote this!”  
“I was seventeen, Donna!”  
“Ahem… ‘Life’s a bitch and then you die, so screw it all and lets get high!’ Joshua Lyman, you say you got a 760 on your verbals? I highly doubt the veracity of that claim.”  
“Did you swallow a thesaurus? And it’s my high school yearbook!”  
“If you don’t want anyone to know these things, then maybe you should stop being obsessive compulsive and clean this place out once in awhile!”  
“Ahem…if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been a bit busy lately…oh yeah, running the country.”  
“And ‘Ego Josh’ makes an appearance. Hey, are you eating those?”  
“Don’t touch my French fries!”  
“Well, at least these pictures are cute…Oh my god!”  
“What? What is it?”  
“It’s…you…or at least, I think it’s you…”  
“Wait a sec…Gimme that yearbook!”  
“Oh my god, Josh, your hair…”  
“It wasn’t that uncommon back then…”  
“You have…you have…”  
“GIVE ME THAT!”  
“No! Your hair is…Afro!”  
“I’m telling you, that was the style!”  
“You look like…Alf!”  
“GIMMIE THAT!”  
“You…you…”  
“You might want to stop laughing long enough to breathe.”  
“Oh…my…god…”  
“Ok, that’s it!”  
“Hey! Gimme that!”  
“No! It’s going somewhere where you can never mock me with it again!”  
“Ok.”  
“Ok…Hey! Gimme my French fries!”  
“Nev-ah!”  
“You are quite the freak, aren’t you?”  
“Mmm…these are good!”  
“Do-nna!”  
“They’re going fast…”  
“Fine, eat my…GIVE ME THEM!”  
“Too slow! I can see the bottom of the bag…”  
“GIVE ME…Ahh!”  
“Ouch! You seem to have fallen over the couch there, Josh.”  
“Thanks for that astute observation, Donna. Oh, don’t trouble yourself to help me up.”  
“You’ve left me with the bags often enough. And anyway, I’m too busy eating these absolutely wonderful fries…”  
“GIVE ME MY CHIPS!”  
“Ok, here.”  
“Thankyou…Hey! They’re all gone!”  
“Are they? Oops.”  
“You evil, evil woman.”  
“Let’s get back to work.”

**********  
“Donna?”  
“Donna, are you in here?”  
“Donna- OH MY GOD!”  
“If you say one word…”  
“What the hell happened?”  
“Oh, I was cleaning out your closet, a move I deeply regret, and a whole pile of…stuff…fell on me!”  
“You’re covered in dust!”  
“Really? A-A-Achoo!”  
“Bless you.”  
“Thank…Thankyou…Achoo!”  
“Ok, come over here and sit down…”  
“Achoo!”  
“You ok?”  
“Yeah, but Josh?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I think I’m gonna have to wear that shirt.”  


**********  
DING-DONG!  
“I’ll get it, it’s probably dinner! Besides, I was thinking I was gonna get lost pretty soon in your laundry room.”  
“I’m just not going to dignify that last bit with a response.”  
“You just did.”  
“Yeah…”  
“Anyway…Hey! How much do I owe…Toby?”  
“Donna?”  
“What are you doing here?”  
“I could ask you the same thing.”  
“Josh roped me into doing some spring cleaning with him.”  
“Oh. Donna?”  
“Yes?”  
“Why are you wearing Josh’s shirt?”  
“Why am I…”  
“Your face is going red, Donna.”  
“She had a little accident and got covered in dust.”  
“Josh?”  
“Toby?”  
“It’s me.”  
“What are you doing here?”  
“I could ask you the same thing.”  
“Uh…I live here.”  
“I…oh.”  
“Yeah…What’s up?”  
“I just came over to discuss 411 with you...but it looks like you’ve got your hands full…literally.”  
“Yeah. Papers I found under my bed from the first campaign.”  
“Really?”  
“Interested?”  
“Hell yes.”  
“Come on in.”  
“I’m just gonna go get the food. Toby, you wanna stay? There’s plenty.”  
“Sure, Donna.”  
“Ok, I’ll be back.”  
“Donna?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You wearin my shirt out to pick up the food?”  
“Oh, why the hell not? The communications officer for the White House has seen me in it, why not the rest of DC?”  
“True, that.”  
“I’ll be back.”  
“Okay.”

**********  
“…So.”  
“Yes.”  
“…So.”  
“What?”  
“You’re making Donna help you clean your own house?”  
“Toby!”  
“On her day off?”  
“You make me sound like some kind of ogre!”  
“Well, it is her only day off.”  
“I offered her a raise.”  
“Are you actually going to give her one?”  
“Umm…No.”  
“I thought not.”  
“Yeah, well, I’m not gonna tell her that.”  
“Josh?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You know that this would never work out.”  
“What?”  
“This thing you and Donna have. The press would be on it in a minute, and Leo would fire Donna.”  
“There’s nothing go on!”  
“And, I would have to back Leo.”  
“There’s…you’d actually sit by and let Donna be fired?”  
“Josh…”  
“Anyway, there’s nothing going on!”  
“Josh, she answered your door on a Sunday, wearing one of your shirts!”  
“I don’t believe I’m being interrogated like this…wait a minute…you weren’t sent here to discuss 411, were you?”  
“No.”  
“This is about Donna and I, isn’t it?”  
“Yes.”  
“Toby, there’s nothing going on…”  
“But it looks like you two are ready to cross some line into having an actual relationship. Up until now, you’ve had this whole, ‘Josh and Donna’ thing going on, but now it’s becoming different.”  
“Toby…”  
“From an official White House position, it’s a PR disaster, but from a personal position…”  
“Toby! Wait a…what?”  
“From a personal position, there’s an opening in my office for a competent assistant. Ginger needs some experience in the Deputy COS’s office…”  
“No way! I’m not losing Donna!”  
“Josh, as long as you two use personal discretion, there is no reason you can’t have a relationship outside the office.”  
“But Donna can’t be my assistant anymore?”  
“Well, we were discussing this…”  
“Wait, who’s we?”  
“Everyone. Anyway, CJ could release a statement to the press, Ginger could be your assistant for awhile, and then Donna could come back once you two have demonstrated you can work sensibly together.”  
“She could come back? After how long?”  
“Six months.”  
“I can live with that.”  
“Good.”  
“Uh, guys?”  
“Donna!”  
“I, uh…I got dinner.”

**********  
“Well, that was nice.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Josh, why have you got your head buried in that cupboard?”  
“Don’t.”  
“Yes you do, and you’re talking in monosyllables. Why?”  
“Not.”  
“Ok, fine, but I’m finishing soon, I mean it! Toby got to go home! You didn’t make Toby help clean! It’s 8:00, Josh!”  
“Hey, wait a second! Look!”  
“What?”  
“They’re my old rollerblades!”  
“No way, Josh! No!”  
“What?”  
“You are not trying those on!”  
“I wasn’t going to.”  
“Good.”  
“…”  
“…”  
“…Just for a minute!”  
“Josh…!”  
“Wait, look, look. There! They’re on! Hey, they still fit!”  
“That’s great, now take them off before you kill yourself!”  
“I’m not going to kill myself. I’m going to take them for a spin around the kitchen!”  
“Josh, don’t…”  
“Whee! Hey Donna, look at me! I’m Gordie Hal!”  
“Josh, please take them off…”  
“And he goes up for the goal, behind the couch, and he…AHH!”  
CRASH!  
“Oh my god! Josh!”  
“Owwww!”  
“Are you okay?”  
“I just fell over the couch, what do you think?”  
“Here, let me have a look…”  
“OUCH! Do-nna! That hurts!”  
“You’ve sprained your ankle. Good one, Josh. That’s the second time, by the way, that you’ve tripped over the couch today.”  
“A little sympathy would be nice.”  
“How can I feel sorry for you when I told you not to put the rollerblades on. Now we have to take them off.”  
“No! It’s gonna…OWWWWCH!”  
“There, all done. Let me get an icepack. Wait a sec.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Why? Here’s your icepack.”  
“I’m sorry I made you clean with me today.”  
“It’s ok. I had fun. Really.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. Feeling better?”  
“Yeah. Thanks.”  
“Josh?”  
“Hmm?”  
“What were you and Toby talking about before?”  
“What?”  
“You heard what I said.”  
“How much of that conversation did you hear?”  
“The last bit. Why am I being transferred, Josh? Did I do something wrong? Is that why you asked me to come here today? Am I being fired?”  
“No! Donna, no! The senior staff is just…uh…under the impression…”  
“Yeah?”  
“Well, they’re under the impression we’re having a…well…a kind of…they think we’re going out.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah. And Toby said we can do that but you have to go be his assistant for six months while CJ deals with the press and you can come back when we’ve proven we can work professionally.”  
“Really? They’d be ok with that?”  
“Sounds like it.”  
“Josh?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Did you just ask me out?”  
“Uhm…”  
“Josh?”  
“What?”  
“Did you just ask me out?”  
“You know, CJ calls us Dosh and Jonna.”  
“That’s pretty funny.”  
“Not, it’s not!”  
“…I’d have to be transferred for six months to Toby’s office while CJ sorts out the PR mess?”  
“Yes.”  
“I could live with that.”  
“Wait…You could?”  
“Yeah.”  
“You’d have to bring Toby coffee.”  
“I wouldn’t mind that.”  
“You never bring me coffee, and yet you’ll bring Toby coffee?”  
“Yes, but Toby isn’t a jerk.”  
“Hey!”  
“I’d still get to see you, wouldn’t I?”  
“Of course, Donna!”  
“…So now I only have one question.”  
“What?”  
“Do you wanna go out?”  
“Uhm…”  
“Josh! Look at me!”  
“I’m looking! You’re very pretty.”  
“Thankyou for the compliment.”  
“You’re welcome.”  
“Well, anyway, you obviously don’t, so let’s just forget this ever happened, and I’ll go finish off the rest of my cleaning and-”  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
“What was that for?”  
“I wanted to shut you up.”  
“And so you kissed me?”  
“Yes. If I had’ve known it was going to work so effectively, I would’ve done it ages ago.”  
“Shut up, Josh.”  
“Ok.”  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
“Since when does ‘Shut up’ mean ‘Kiss me’?”  
“Since now.”  
“…I’m cool with that.”  
...  
...  
...  
...

**********  
“Goodmorning, Josh…OH MY GOD!”  
“CJ, now everyone’s staring at me!”  
“You’re…you’re on crutches!”  
“Yes.”  
“What happened?”  
“He was being Gordie Hal in his twenty year old skates and tripped over the couch.”  
“Thankyou, Donna. That was helpful.”  
“Welcome.”  
“CJ, are you laughing at me?”  
“Of course not…Gordie.”  
“Yeah, thanks for that. Where’s Toby?”  
“In his office, ready to show Donna the ropes. Ginger’s waiting in your office.”  
“Ok, thanks…Wait a minute. How did you know we were gonna agree to that?”  
“Oh, Josh, it’s obvious. Umm…You live without Donna for six months and you two can make out whenever you want. Sound simple?”  
“Point taken.”  
“Ok, I’ll see you later, Donna. Gordie.”  
“Get away from me.”  
“Byee!”  
...  
“So…”  
“Yeah.”  
“It’s gonna be weird not hearing you bellow my name.”  
“You heard it plenty of times last night. You bellowed back a few times, as I remember.”  
“Josh!”  
“Ahem. Sorry. Not here- right. We have to prove we can work together.”  
“That’s right. Well, I suppose I’ll see you later?”  
“Yeah.”  
“…You’re not moving.”  
“…Either are you.”  
“This is ridiculous. It’s only six months.”  
“I know. Well, I’d better go. Here, at about nine?”  
“You gotta date.”  
“GORDIE HAL, GET IN HERE, YOU’RE LATE!”  
“That was Leo.”  
“Yeah.”  
“DONNA!”  
“That was Toby.”  
“Yeah.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, too.”  
“Until tonight.”  
“Yeah, Bye.”

THE END


End file.
